A Brown Bear by any other name...

by 8:22 PM 0 comments
... is now a Needlefish.

After scouting Louisville's squad and seeing the non-renewal of highly productive (but defensively unversatile) left fielder Juan Uribe's contract, Needlefish management shuffled its roster and signed Uribe for the season at a bargain basement price of $1.3 million.

While happy to latch on with a new team, Uribe is reportedly dissapointed that the Brown Bears are nowhere to be find on Norfolk's schedule. In his introductory press conference, Uribe was seen weeping and muttering, "I want smash bradleydog en la cabeza con mi Louisville Slugger muy, muy hard, the son of a pig!"

Louisville officials could not be reached for comment.

EAT THE WRATH OF URIBE, SUCKAS!

Juan Uribe
Norfolk
Needlefish
Age: 32B/T: R/R
Born: San Pedro de Macoris, DO
Position(s): LF/CIF/RF/DH
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sordie

Developer

Commissioner of the fakest fake baseball league on the planet: Plumpy Rules!!!!111

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