WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

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Award Winners for the Worst Five Contracts of Season 11 Revisited


#1 CARLOS RIVERA

Carlos Rivera, the $19.6 million man (an updated version of Lee Majors' 'Six Million Dollar Man' after hyperinflation and without the bionic powers) remains a mainstay in the Trenton Titans lineup and there he shall likely remain until his astronomical contract expires after season 14.

Easily the best, most productive player this ignomious dishonor was bestowed upon, Rivera was an MVP contender in Season 11 and has averaged 32 homers and 121 RBIs over the last two seasons. He provides a more than adequate 1B bat, and virtually any Plumpyville team without cleanup batters named Todd Ford or Jeff Hackman would be glad to plug him into their respective lineups. But the fact remains, garnering his services requires showering him with big, giant barrelfulls of cold, hard cash. Cash in a volume copious enough to cripple a team from properly addressing other on the field needs.

Solid as he is, Rivera remains the albotross around the Titan's neck and when not planted on the first base bag can be most easily located by visiting your local trading block.


#2 O.T. TITAN

Titan, the beneficiary of a $7.6 two-year deal well after he should have been shipped off to the glue farm, rewarded Submariner GM Bill Howell with a 6.53 ERA/1.82 WHIP season 11 before having his option declined for season 12 (perhaps the contract wasn't as onerous as perceived at first glance) and can currently be found shuffleboarding at the Sunnydale Old Folks Home for Retired Meatballers.


#3 DARREN MACK

Mack, an $8.8mil/season southpaw starter, ended up bouncing back and having a pretty nice Season 11 for the once-mighty Montgomery Burns. But he followed up his 12-6, 1.30 WHIP, 3.54 ERA season 11 with a much less impressive 8-10, 1.63 WHIP, 5.65 ERA season 12 which happened to coincide with Montgomery's only losing season in franchise history.

Two days ago, long-time Burns' GM ttjax was able to unload Mack to the pitching-starved New York Godfathers for Lorenzo Rojas and Fausto Rincon, a pair of ML/AAA tweeners who may offer little help on the field but certainly offer big help on the balance sheet.


#4 HARRY GUERRERO

Guerrero, nlmiller's most notable charity case, received a long-term $18.5 million contract in season 7. When a dollar value is assigned per ML victory accrued, the mathematician calculating the figure has a close encounter of the infinity kind. Guerrero never won a major league ball game, though he did end his big league career with a whopping 15.88 ERA to go with a 3.00 WHIP and a handful of losses.

Guerrero's big contact eventually expired, and he is currently toiling where in AA for minimum wage.


#5 JOSIAS FERNANDEZ

Fernandez, a once-effective major league utility infielder, cashed in his chips after one last bloated contract. He ended his career hacking at meatballs in Oakland's minor league system, a shell of his former self, after collecting $11.2 million dollars from the Richmond Tyrants in return for a grand total of 70 ML at bats and a.186/.293/.357 big league output.

sordie

Developer

Commissioner of the fakest fake baseball league on the planet: Plumpy Rules!!!!111

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