A Franchise Reborn.

by 5:38 AM 0 comments

A franchise reborn.

On a surprisingly cold July day in Scranton, Pennsylvania 31 of Plumpy Rules!!!!!!111 32 owners held a secret meeting to discuss the future of the 32nd franchise the Minnesota Land Killer Whales. The purpose of this meeting? To discuss whether or not the league would fold the team, or force out long time Owner/GM Indiansrck27. An inside source says that a few of the owners felt it was a waste of a trip to Scranton because, "The strip clubs here in Scranton are a poor excuse for entertainment", and also because "without question Irck27 and the Killer Whales were just in bad shape for a few seasons, and had not intentionally violated any rules of the league." But mostly because the "adult entertainment" was sub par. Almost unanimously the 31 owners voted to keep Minnesota in the league and avoid the potentially lengthy search for new ownership and to wait out the time it takes to search for a new owner, secure the money for a new team, the stadium plans, and the uniform design and so on.

At the same exact time the league owners were holding their secret meeting, something was afoot in Minnesota. Owner/GM Indiansrck27 was silently preparing to pull a "Modell" and relocate the franchise in the middle of the summer to a new location, IF he retained his team. He was quoted a saying "The only thing im guilty of is trading Tiny Garcia for scraps to try make the MWR that season, and being a bad GM, I just cant see these guys removing me." So he waited for the results of the secret meeting which wasn't so secret because, everyone knew about it.

Tiny Garcia
Age: 25B/T: R/R
Born: Toms River, NJ
Position(s): P (SP5)
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Finally League Commissioner Zeustis and the league decided that The Minnesota Killer Whales would stay. That is when Irck27 decided that the Minnesota Killer Land Whales would not stay, and announced the team would be moving to Seattle.

Shock. Anger. Sadness. Minneapolis erupted into riots. The aftermath of the decision has gone down as one of the most devastating events in Minnesota history, right next to the 1940 Armistice Day blizzard. And then, it was the best thing to happen. Indiansrck27, his 78 tractor trailers, 6 passenger buses, and 1 U-Haul were on their way to Seattle while the Magma and Owner/GM Zyrion were moving in to Target Field. Just as quickly as they started the riots turned into celebrations, and then turned back into looting and riots as arguably the best team in Plumpy Rules!!!!!!111 just replaced arguably the worst.

Now in Seattle and a new lease on a stadium, and life the Seattle Killer Whales have made quite a splash this offseason. "Its my job to be competitive and I just cant live with what the team has become, we are going to be making some major changes to this team." Major changes indeed were made. To start the offseason off Seattle made a huge splash by trading Season 28 3rd pick Bryant Wirth , season 31 5th pick Ramiro Vargas and season 31 10th round DITR Posiedon Harvey for SP Freddie Daly and CF Felix Pickford. Irck27 has this to say about the trade "It was definitely a tough trade to make moving to of my top draft picks from the recent seasons, both guys are going to be great MLers. BUt they are not there yet, and I couldn't wait around any longer for the Owners to boot me from the league, so I decided to be aggressive and go for more ML ready stars. Thats what we get in Daly and Pickford."

Felix Pickford
Killer Whales
Age: 24B/T: L/L
Born: Victoria, VA
Position(s): CF
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The next splashes made by Seattle is a flurry of free agent signings including: C Louie Knotts who is tasked with filling the shoes of Killer Whale legend and future HOFer Damaso Delgado who has returned for an 18th season ML season in his quest for 600HRs. Knotts will be the starter, but Irck27 said that Damaso will get every opportunity to hit his last 6 HRs. Delgado was quoted saying "Im old man, and this will be my last season, but I wanted to get these last 6 HR for myself and I want to go out on a winning record, so thats what we are going to do." Next 2 FA signings come in the form of two great SU men Hector Volquez and Will Perry who will help improve the bullpen for sure. Some other things to consider include the addition of Ramiro Baez into this seasons starting lineup playing the DH role. A former 12m dollar IFA who became a Rule V pick by Seattle just 3 seasons ago and has stuck. He has some high expectations on his shoulders from bench coach Nick Benoit. and hitting coach Matt Fuller.

Hector Volquez
Killer Whales
Age: 36B/T: R/R
Born: San Luis Potosi, MX
Position(s): P (SuA)
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When asked he was done with his offseason Indiansrck27 said "Not a chance. We are still looking for a 2B. Ernie Parrott has done a great job for us at 2B, but we are looking for a top of the order bat with speed and GG defense. Ernie will still be a part of the team, just as a regular PH. We also could use another arm for the bullpen."

Minnesota/Seattle hasn't made the playoffs since season 23, and hasn't had a winning season since season 25. Only time will tell if these bold moves will pay off for the Killer Whales. One thing for certain is they are not playing for a top draft pick, they are operating as a team competing for the division, and they have the confidence and a new found swagger to back it up.



Commissioner of the fakest fake baseball league on the planet: Plumpy Rules!!!!111