St. Louis Crazy Horses

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St. Louis Crazy Horses

Just two playoff appearances for the franchise, St. Louis toils in a park that leans slightly in favor of the pitcher.


CF J. Cedeno

2B D. Hall

3B T. Tatum

RF M. Koloff

1B P. Spiers

DH R. Meyers

LF E. Walker/T. Broome

SS H. Harris

C  M. Adams









STL is paced by veteran Tris Tatum on offense, though Tatum has been on the trade block recently. In 9 full seasons, Tatum has demonstrated average power, with a season high of 23 HRs and three seasons of 100+ RBI. An all star twice in his early 20s, Tatum has never lived up to his full potential. A good defender with a .281 lifetime batting average, 31-year-old Tatum is solid, but not special, as a veteran 3B. The Crazy Horses acquired RF Matthew Koloff last season, and he offers a great RH hitting power bat in the middle of the order. The former #7 overall pick has averaged 27 HR and 95 RBI in two seasons at the big league level, while hitting nearly .280.

25-year-old 2B Damian Hall was the AL rookie of the year in season 10, when he also was an all star and silver slugger winner thanks to a .350 batting average and an OBP of well over .400. Hi second season was not nearly as productive, and Hall was traded from Arizona to STL late in the year. Hall has the fielding tools to garner multiple gold gloves at either 2B or CF. His great eye, contact rate, and ability to hit lefties are tempered by his relative struggles against RH’s and a lack of elite power. Still, along with Tatum and Koloff, Hall is an excellent offensive weapon.

1B Phillip Spiers offers excellent hitting skills, accented by a great eye and nice power, as well as good splits. He crushed pitching last year as a September call-up, hitting .391 with 4 HRs in only 46 ABs. The 22 year old former first round pick has a bright future in the middle of the STL lineup. Meyers, another 22 year old rookie, will play DH with a bit of 1B mixed in this season.  He has great power, excellent splits, and above average contact skills and eye.

LF Ed Walker also provides nice power and hitting skills against LHP. The former supplemental first rounder has logged four full big league seasons, averaging 25 HR and 80 RBI while hitting .271. Not an elite hitter, Walker is a nice contributor. Theodore Broome provides a nice platoon hitter against righties who is best suited for LF. He is an excellent contact hitter with mediocre power who has stolent double digit bases as a platoon guy in each of the last two seasons.

Injury prone CF Jorge Cedeno is a very nice defensive player with excellent speed, great contact, decent splits, and absolutely no power. A career .290 hitter with over 250 career SBs, 8 DL trips in his career have slowed Cedeno down. Still Cedeno has two silver slugger awards as a CF, including one for last season when he had his best season, hitting over .350 with 61 SBs, 211 hits, and an OBP well over .400.

SS Horace Harris is a gem defensively, and had a respectable rookie season last year hitting .260 with 12 HR, but his OBP of .315 will have to improve. Harris lacks elite hitting skills, hitting lefties better than righties, but he has trouble making contact. Still, his glove compensates for this end of the order contributor.

Catcher Mark Adams is a good defensive hitter who is passable offensively, but mediocre on a good day, though he did it .270 with 16 HRs last season. Meanwhile, backup catcher Max Jacquez offers a far superior bat, but poor pitch calling. Jacquez has great power, crushes RHers, and should see significant playing time at DH and as a pinch hitter, along with a few games behind the plate.

 Odalis Suarez, a season 5 second round pick out of Liberal, Kansas (who knew there was a liberal Kansas?), offers some nice depth around the diamond at the corners, second base, and the corner OF positions. Suarez is particularly effective against LHP, and is an average hitter across the board otherwise, except for a poor batting eye. Suarez should be a regular against lefties and a nice PH and defensive replacement. Ken Russell is a nice hitter off the bench who can play the corner IF and OF positions. He hits lefties really well, and holds his own against righties, with decent power, contact, and eye. Russell is a nice pinch hitter and bench player.


#1 SP Julio Arias is a wily veteran with great stamina, control, and splits, though he is susceptible to the fly ball and lacks a dominant pitch. In 11 seasons, Arias, a 3-time all star, has gone 137-114 with over 1700 K’s, a 1.33 WHIP and an ERA of 4.21. At age 35, Arias shows no signs of collapse, and should have another nice campaign in St. Louis, though he is not quite ace material. #2 SP Gus Stoops is a very nice young pitcher, with great control, passable splits, and a very nice 4 seem FB, as well as a good slurve, whatever that is!  The nineteenth overall pick in the season 7 draft, this Colorado State University product went 11-9 with an ERA of 3.65 in his first full big league season last year.  

Veteran hurler Stump Baker offers great control and effectiveness vs. RHers along with three decent pitches to compensate for his difficulties against LHers. The 33 year old has amassed an 87-97 record over the years, accented by all star appearances in seasons 8 and 9. The 33 year old should be a passable middle of the rotation starter. Harry Davis is the LHP counterpart to Baker, with excellent control and decent splits, but lacking any plus pitches. Davis’s once promising career has been riddled with serious injuries.

Bert Price is a power pitcher who induces a lot of groundballs. A steal late in the second round of the season 5 draft, Price had a nice rookie campaign last season, going 7-10 with a 4.35 ERA. To reach his full potential, Price needs to improve the next couple of years, but even with modest improvement and a good fielding infield behind him, Price could post several 12-15 win seasons. His average splits and decent but not overwhelming pitches are not ideal, but that groundball/power combo could be very nice in the right environment. 

Mark Lindsey offers very effective long relief for STL. A Rule 5 draftee, Lindsey has great control, nice splits, and three decent pitches along with a nice groundball frequency. He can step in and spot start if need be. With a career ERA of 3.63 and WHIP of 1.25, Lindsey always offers quality innings. 

Closer Clayton Philips has great skills across the board, including awesome control, nice splits, and a great sinker that induces a lot of ground balls. Though he was roughed up in the first game of the season, Philips headlines a sensational group of young arms in the STL bullpen. LH set up man Lonny Arroyo offers a relatively high stamina bullpen arm with great control, passable splits, and two awesome pitches. He struggled at the ML level in his rookie season last year, but this former first round pick has the skills to do well. Meanwhile, RH set up man C.J. Riggs offers great control, is dominant against RHers, and is an extreme groundball pitcher with two nice pitches. Riggs has the tools to be a future closer, though is not quite at Philips level.

Long reliever Julio James will eat up a lot of garbage innings for STL, but offers little else of value to STL. Marvin Belinda has similar skills (or lack thereof) and will serve as a mop-up guy for STL. J.R. Swann rounds out the bullpen with great control and three good pitches, but low stamina and average splits. 

STL has a great young lineup and great young relievers, but lacks a dominant SP. Still, the team should have a solid season. Add a top of the line SP, and this team will be a legit playoff contender.


Commissioner of the fakest fake baseball league on the planet: Plumpy Rules!!!!111